dumb shit LLC

thedoubteriswise:

just saw a post written by a very kind and tolerant person politely explaining in detail why it is rude to listen to music/watch stuff on your phone in public without earbuds. I’m glad people patient enough to do that exist, since the only explanation I could possibly offer is “because you aren’t the protagonist of this grocery store”

(via shrimpsisbugs)

memecucker:

memecucker:

I think it’s funny how Mormon God was like “look polygamy is super important and I am telling you my followers to practice it even in the face of persecution” and then 40 years later Congress said Utah wouldn’t be given statehood as long as the LDS practiced polygamy and Mormon God was like “Ok tell everyone I changed my mind”

I just really like the idea that Mormon God like, basically caved into pressure from the federal government

(via carnival-phantasm)

staffs-secret-blog:

One of my favourite parts of tumblr is people learning about human pet guy and then finding out how he got that nickname

(via shrimpsisbugs)

hoodiegal:

forgotn1:

hypeswap:

hypeswap:

adhd just makes your really bad at capitalism, unfortunately

like bro i am just floating in a bubble detached from the flow of time and you want me to work 8 hour shifts?

I am built to sit up from sundown to sunup with minimal food and less light watching for intruders or little animals that I can kill. That requires very little of what would actually be called work and a whole lot of just zoning out because my eyes and ears are naturally attuned to picking up and focusing on changes to the environment. I am not built for the 9 to 5 office world, Janet. Unless your job requires me to persistence hunt Mark for sport.

Currently looking for jobs that let me hunt Mark in accounting for sport

(via carnival-phantasm)

mamoru:

one day you may wake up on a hospital bed covered in blood. and you may thing “holy SHIT! I am on a hospital bed covered in blood! I need to do something!” and I just want you to remember that a hospital bed is probably one of the best places to wake up covered in blood. so things are already going really well for you. try not to worry too much. it happens. just stay calm and let them know you woke up. be honest if shit hurts though.

(via shrimpsisbugs)

kickasstorrents:

(via carnival-phantasm)

princessmo:

(via babyprime)

grox:

(via babyprime)

bigandgreedy:

(via babyprime)

froody:

(via babyprime)